There’s no prettier place. Cherry blossoms, azaleas, dogwoods all festoon the verdant hills. But it’s anything but paradise for allergy sufferers.
Six days ago, the pollen count in Atlanta was a mere 5. Today it is - count it! - 8024, driven mostly by huge amounts of tree pollen. Keep in mind that anything above 1500 is considered to be “Extremely High.” As ridiculous as this number is, it’s not any kind of a record: Last year, the pollen count on March 20 was 9367. Holy crapoley!
Green dust encrusts everything. Houses, cars, roads all bear a thin coating of pernicious, powdery pollen. The stuff hangs in the air like a miasma. A few minutes ago, driving along Roswell Road, we drove through what appeared to be an entire fogbank of Tree-Spooge. Yeef.
Pollen covers the SWMBOmobile like talcum on a baby’s ass.
Kermit the Frog once said that “it’s not that easy being green.” As much a pain in the ass it may be to spend each day the color of the leaves, though, it’s a whole lot worse having to breathe green.
Stephen King oughta come visit. This has “The Next Great Horror Novel” written all over it... at least, before a line of violent storms moves in this evening to flush it away.
Now, where da Zyrtec at?
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