Dazed and confused? Not me. I’m just Lost in the Cheese Aisle.

Saturday, July 3, 2010


Disposable aluminum roasting pan (with clear plastic lid): $2.59

Assorted vegetables (cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, parsnips) for eleven people: $15.35
Convection oven: $3,200
Elisson realizing that he put the fucking vegetables in a 400°F oven without detaching the plastic lid from the bottom of the aluminum roasting pan: Priceless

* * *

Yes, this really happened.

My Dinner-Party Assignment was pretty straightforward: Prepare roasted vegetables for eleven people.  I filled two pans with cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, and parsnips, oiled ’em up and seasoned ’em with kosher salt and freshly ground pepper, and threw in a whole head of garlic.  With the oven cranked up on full convection at 400°, all I would need to do is roast those bad boys for about twenty minutes or so, turning them occasionally.  Easy peasy.

Good thing She Who Must Be Obeyed and I were astute enough to notice the distinctive pong of hot, smoking polystyrene wafting through the kitchen before things got really serious. There was a puddle of molten goop on the floor of the oven, and it took a moment before we figured out exactly what it was. D’oh!

Fortunately, no real damage done... and the veggies were deemed especially tasty after we finished them off in JoAnn’s oven later in the evening. Hey, maybe I’m on to something here!

Maybe I should call the Food Network and pitch a new show: “Cookin’ with CRS* - Recipes for the Memory Impaired.” Whaddayathink?

[*CRS = Can’t Remember Shit]


JerseyJerry said...

Ahhh, so YOUR the guy who all those warnings to "please remove wrapper before placing in oven" are for. ;-) Damn! Sounds delish anyway! I'm sure Jimbo will post a constructive "comment". :-)

Ole Phat Stu said...

Many years ago my then girlfriend Sarah roasted a chicken --- with the bag of giblets still inside!

We threw it away :-(

Anonymous said...

Have u tried cooking the turkey with the gizzard sack still inside?

Been there, done That -

Anonymous said...

.... serves you right for serving them brussel sprouts.......

Bou said...

That's dang funny. That's like the time my second son was going to make jello. He put the jello bowl, plastic, on the eye of my stove to heat up the water. Holy crap, it smelled nasty.