WHAT’S ON YOUR NEW DL?

Several of my Esteemed Readers have been kind enough to bring a certain recent news-related matter to my attention.

An enterprising Austrian individual has apparently won the right to be pictured on his Führerschein (driver’s license) wearing a Nudelsieb (pasta strainer). The rationale the Austrian licensing authorities used was that the aforementioned Nudelsieb was a form of religious headgear, of a sort consistent with the beliefs of Pastafarians - adherents of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

This is, of course, bullshit. A religious Pastafarian would insist upon taking his driver’s license examination in Pirate-Speech. No: this is a case of someone wisely deciding to Make It Go Away Fast... “it” in this case being “the whackjob who wants to wear a colander on his driver’s license.”

As evidence, I can only note that the Austrian authorities, while allowing Herr Niko Alm to be pictured with Perforated Headgear on his license (as long as his face was fully visible), first insisted that he be checked out by a doctor to determine his psychological fitness to drive. That’d actually be a good criterion to apply to all drivers.

As far as I’m concerned, Herr Alm is a Johann-come-lately to this Colander-Hat business. I’ve been at it for years, and I need no Flying Spaghetti Monster to provide spiritual inspiration - or justification. I’m Colander Borg-Man!