QUICK, HENRY - THE FRIT

In the last few weeks, the flowers near our front doorstep have been growing in mad profusion. The combination of nectar and warm weather makes a powerful attractant for bees and butterflies.

Yesterday, I managed to catch a couple of shots of this handsome fellow:





I remembered enough from my childhood butterfly-chasing days to identify him as some sort of fritillary... but what kind? A little research established that he was a Gulf Fritillary (Agraulis vanillæ), also known as the Passion Butterfly on account of its larval-stage diet of passion flowers.

Butterflies. They’re pretty enough, to be sure, but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: However beautiful it may be, a butterfly is still a fly.

Update: Friday Ark #358 is up at the Modulator. Stop by and check out the Miscellaneous Fauna!

ADVENTURES IN VETERINARY MEDICINE

Hakuna is nothing if not perceptive.

Despite our (thus far successful) efforts to keep her apart from Bernadette - Hakuna does not play well with Strange Kitties - we’re sure she has figured out that there is another cat somewhere in the house. Her body language gives her away.

Hakuna’s angst at dealing with fellow felines, however, pales in comparison to her loathing of the annual Veterinarian Visit. As soon as she spots the green Sherpa carrier, she immediately tries to slink away and make herself scarce.

These days I have a couple of advantages. Hakuna, being sixteen years old, is still pretty spry - but she has slowed down somewhat. It’s a lot easier to corner her in our bedroom, because she can’t cram herself under our new bed. And it’s a lot easier to to grab her once she’s cornered. The growling and yowling generally subside after a couple of minutes.

Today, as soon as she saw the Sherpa, she tucked her tail between her legs and slowly crept off to the bathroom, attempting to don her Cloak of Kitty Invisibility as she hid behind the door adjacent to the toilet. It did not work, alas.

Once we got to the vet, things proceeded without incident. ’Kuna may hate that green Sherpa when she sees it at home, but once at the vet, she clings to it like a life raft in heavy seas. And once she is out, she sits quietly on the floor, looking every bit like one of those big-eyed kittens in the Cheesy Black Velvet Paintings whilst making herself as small as possible.


Maybe if I give him the Big Eyes, he won’t give me... The Needle!

What is it with this distaste for the Kitty-Medico? Do the sounds, smells, and surroundings bring back unpleasant memories of early kittenhood? Does she recall being poked, prodded, having blood drawn, getting injections, and having a thermometer jammed up her ass from the last visit? I can certainly empathize, being no fan of the annual physical myself.

Or are her concerns more... sinister?

Has Hakuna heard the legends - legends communicated quietly in the dead of night between Household Beasts, much as human children might tell ghost stories around a campfire - legends about a place where cats and dogs go to get The Needle? Is she thinking about Matata, who one day went to the vet and never came back?

Bernadette: potential replacement?

Is she worried that we’re going to kick her to the curb, throw her under the bus, boot her right over the Rainbow Bridge? I can just imagine what she’s thinking:

“Uh oh - the Goofy One brought the Green Thing out. That can only mean one thing: We’re going to the Place of the Little Room with the Metal Table. I hate that stinking place! I hate listening to those damned yappy dogs!

“Oh, crap - he’s closed the door. I’m trapped. Trapped! Maybe if I make myself look real small he won’t see me. No, damn it - here he comes! Ooof-ah!

“Shit. I just thought of something. That other cat! I know she’s in this house somewhere! Maybe she’s my replacement... and today’s the day they’re gonna give me The Needle! I am so screwed!”

Don’t worry, little Hakuna. Bernadette is simply a guest, not a potential replacement sent here for a trial period. All we’re doing is making sure you’re as healthy as possible so we can enjoy each other’s company as long as possible.

And sorry about that thermometer up the ass. It’s just business.

Update: Friday Ark #353 is asail, ably captained by Steve the Modulator... and Carnival of the Cats 9/11 is up at Mind of Mog. Go pay a visit, y’heah?

SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME

There’s a somebody I’m longing to see
I hope that she turns out to be
Someone to watch over me...

- George Gershwin, Someone to Watch Over Me



Hakuna relaxes on the family room ottoman, with the late Matata appearing to keep watch over her through the magic of the Electronic Photo Frame.

Update: Friday Ark #341 is afloat at the Modulator... and Carnival of the Cats, in its 377th incarnation, has been posted at CatSynth. Great job!

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

Hakuna keeps watch in the den at night in this vaguely painterly image. (What she’s watching for, who knows?)

Today is Hakuna’s sixteenth birthday. Sweet Sixteen!

It’s been fascinating, observing her Life-Journey from somewhat reserved Big-Sister Kitty (compared to Matata’s outsize personality, how could she help but appear reserved?) to sedate yet vivacious Night-Talker. And I’ve been photographing her in her variegated moods for at least the past seven years.

Treats are in order... and yet, Hakuna generally eschews treats, preferring her regular kibble to any alien offerings. Her favor is not so easily bought. But we’ll celebrate anyway, with or without her. Perhaps sushi. She’d like that.

Update: As befits a Birthday Girl, Hakuna leads the parade of kitties over at the Modulator, where this week’s Friday Ark sets out on its 337th voyage. This Sunday, be sure to head on over to Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat for the 372nd edition of Carnival of the Cats.

FOUR QUACK-TIONS

Male mallard, photographed at the Atlanta Botanical Garden.

I’d hate to be the Easter ham,
No fun to be the Paschal lamb.
Some animals have all the luck -
Just ask my friend, the Paschal Duck.

I’m not exactly sure why lambs and pigs ended up on the holiday platters of Jews and Christians, respectively, but it seems that the duck - a wonderfully tasty beast by my accounting - managed to get left out of the equation.

Had ancient Israel been blessed with more lakes, perhaps things would have turned out differently. I can just see it now: a duck leg on the Seder plate in lieu of the lamb shank. One of the Four Questions (Quack-tions?) might be “Why is this night different from all other nights? On all other nights, we eat chicken. On this night, only duck.” And wild waterfowl would dread the arrival of the Mallard ha-Mavis - the Duck of Death.

As far as She Who Must Be Obeyed is concerned, the duck versus lamb debate is moot: She loathes them both equally. Whereas I love ’em.

Update: Friday Ark #335 is afloat at the Modulator... your place for Fun with Fauna!

CRYING IN THE NIGHT

She cries out in the night.
Has a mousie crossed her line of sight?
Has something evil given her a fright?
It just ain’t right.

Hakuna, as she approaches the age of sixteen, has become very vocal.

She who used to be the Quiet Kitty (Matata did all the talking) now meows loudly, sometimes yowling at random times in the dead of night. It’s something she typically would do after we would return from a trip away from home, as if to say, “Where the hell have you been? Now get right back in this house so I can ignore you!” But there have been nights lately during which sleep has been nigh impossible.

The hell of it is, she sounds almost as though she is trying to speak the language of us Bifurcated Gods. But the words are not quite human words.

She Who Must Be Obeyed did a little research and found that this phenomenon of nighttime wailing seems to be fairly common among older cats. Sometimes it’s driven by creeping dementia and confusion, sometimes by thyroid issues, and other times by causes unknown.

As Sissy Willis has said, cats see things we don’t... and maybe Hakuna is seeing things that mystify or frighten her, things that lie just beyond the limits of our puny human perception. Alas, that I cannot understand what she is trying to say...

Update: Friday Ark #335 is afloat at the Modulator. This Sunday, Carnival of the Cats #370 will be hosted by Pet’s Garden Blog - be sure to stop by and visit!

AN EVENING WITH THE MISTRESS

Last night, She Who Must Be Obeyed being otherwise occupied, I met the Mistress of Sarcasm in her neighborhood for dinner.

It was a raw, drizzly night - more like late February than late March - and so we decided to go someplace within easy walking distance. That’s an option where the Mistress lives: throw a rock from her apartment and you’ll hit some sort of trendy eatery or other. We settled on Wisteria, a place that bills itself as “contemporary American with a Southern twist.” I could be snarky and say that all that means is they serve everything on a bed of cheese grits, but it would be doing a disservice to the excellent food.

We sat at the bar, where we were lucky to secure a couple of seats on short notice. It’s Restaurant Week in Inman Park, you see, and a lot of the places are participating by offering bargain prix-fixe three-course menus... ensuring that most of them are crammed to the gills with eager customers. Sure enough, it was SRO at Wisteria mere minutes after we sat down.

The food, I am happy to say, was excellent. Kobe beef carpaccio was silky, nicely set off with lemony arugula and shavings of Parmesan; the pan-roasted scallops served atop orzo with pesto were briny, magnificent. And the Mistress bravely tried something she had never had: skate wings, napped in brown butter with capers and a touch of lemon, nestled against grilled asparagus spears on a pile of (of course!) cheese grits. And as we ate, the Mistress regaled me with tales of the workplace and other adventures.

Afterwards, we repaired to the apartment to listen to a little Ella Fitzgerald - and to the Mistress play a few tunes on the ukulele. And Bernadette, the Mistress’s kitty, was there to observe us from her vantage point above the kitchen cabinets.



It was, as I stated earlier, a raw, drizzly evening... but there, with my sweet daughter and her bashful kittycat, it was warm as toast. And as I drove home, I carried that warmth with me all the way.

Update: The Friday Ark sets sail on its 333rd voyage at the Modulator. Stop by and say hello!

A FELINE REQUEST

Hakuna sees the meat
In the post below
And feels her appetite
Begin to grow:

“Get up off your ass
And stop writing this drivel -
I wants me some beef,
Not this dried-out old kibble!”

Update: Friday Ark #331 is asail over at the Modulator, with Captain Steve at the helm. This Sunday’s edition of Carnival of the Cats will be posted at Pet’s Garden Blog; be sure to stop by and tell ’em Elisson sent ya.

Update 2: CotC #366 is up... at Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat. Special thanks to Nikita for stepping up to fill in after the folks at Pet’s Garden Blog suffered a family loss (for which we offer our condolences).

HIGHLY DYNAMIC KITTY

Hakuna glows in this High Dynamic Range image. Highly dynamic, indeed - provided you are referring to the image’s tonal range and not to any apparent motion on the part of Hakuna, who remained perfectly motionless for the three exposures it took to create it.

Update: Friday Ark #322 is afloat over at the Modulator, ably piloted by Cap’n Steve.

More kitty-related links will be coming your way Sunday evening, when the latest weekly edition of Carnival of the Cats is posted at Mind of Mog. Be sure to stop by and tell ’em Elisson sent ya!

Update 2: CotC #352 is up, with Hakuna leading the Kitty-Parade.

MEMORIES: A 100-WORD STORY (WITH VIDEO)

The explosive growth in demand for electronic memory that had begun in the late 1990’s accelerated dramatically as the Internet became the medium of everyday human interaction. Life’s minutiae no longer vanished into the stream of time; everything was lovingly laid down in 1’s and 0’s, packratted away into the limitless bowels of the Data Storage Combine for future retrieval.

RAM became the new gold. Salaries were paid in terabytes.

By 2057, the Earth’s entire surface had been covered with data storage facilities, the better to feed the voracious servers… ensuring a continued supply of Funny Cat Videos on YouTube.

Update: Friday Ark #320 is afloat at the Modulator... and Carnival of the Cats offers its 350th incarnation over at Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat, where Nikita and Elvira have done an exceptional job of compiling cat-related links from around the Bloggy-Sphere.

GOT CAT HAIR?

This Pillow carries a timely message
Lest you get Cat-Hair upon your Dressage,
Or a Mass of Fibers on your Pants,
Requiring the Sticky-Roller Dance.

Hakuna relaxes on one of the chairs in the sunroom, in the process depositing a load of cat hair upon the seat cushion... and ensuring continued employment for Mr. Sticky-Roller. The pillow, of course, is inscribed with an appropriate legend, but whether it is a warning or consolation cannot be said for certain.

Update: Carnival of the Cats #349 is up at When Cats Attack! - and Hakuna is batting lead-off. Be sure to stop by and say hello.

FRIDAY RANDOM TEN - MUSIC AND CATS EDITION

“There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.” - Albert Schweitzer

Schweitzer’s quote has inspired at least one blogger... and today, it serves as the launching pad for this week’s Friday Random Ten.

You know the Friday Random Ten, of course. It’s a venerable Internet meme, one that I’ve been using for years... although with a bit less frequency lately. Ten songs, culled at random from the voluminous Tune-Heap that resides in my Little White Choon-Box, representing less than 0.3% of that device’s musical inventory.

What’s playing today?:

1. Prison Food - Ben Folds
   
   
2. Beautiful - Lee & LeBlanc
   
   
3. California - Joni Mitchell
   
   
4. Devorzhum - Dead Can Dance
   
   
5. Act I, Scene 2: Founders Come First, Then Profiteers - John Adams, Nixon in China
   
   
6. Any Dub You Like - Easy Star All-Stars
   
   
7. Geek USA - Smashing Pumpkins
   
   
8. I’m the Urban Spaceman - Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band
   
   I’m the urban spaceman, baby; I’ve got speed
   I’ve got everything I need
   I’m the urban spaceman, baby; I can fly
   I’m a supersonic guy
   
   I don’t need pleasure
   I don’t feel pain
   If you were to knock me down I’d just get up again
   I’m the urban spaceman, baby; I’m makin’ out
   I’m all about
   
   I wake up every morning with a smile upon my face
   My natural exuberance spills out all over the place
   
   I’m the urban spaceman, baby; I’m intelligent and clean
   Know what I mean?
   I’m the urban spaceman, as a lover second to none
   It’s a lot of fun
   
   I never let my friends down
   I’ve never made a boob
   I’m a glossy magazine, an advert in the tube
   
   I’m the urban spaceman, baby; here comes the twist -
   I don’t exist
   
   
9. Your Own Choice - Procol Harum
   
   
10. Act I - Tolstoy, Scene 3 - Philip Glass, Satyagraha
    
    

Now that we’ve gotten the Music out of the way, it’s time for Cats. Or Cat, anyway.



Years ago, when I used to carpool to one of the Great Corporate Salt Mine’s outposts in coastal Texas - a ~70-mile round trip - one of the guys used to complain that my music sounded like cats yowling. (He was probably about the same age I am now.) To which Hakuna responds, “You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”

It’s Friday. What music and cats are you listening to?

Update: Carnival of the Cats #343 is up at Mind of Mog. Check out alla them kitties. Now, dammit!

PENSIVE PUSSYCAT

What could she possibly be thinking? Inquiring minds want to know.

Hakuna sits on our bed, a pensive expression on her fuzzy face. She’s thinking about something... Gawd only knows what it is.

Update: Friday Ark #309 is afloat at the Modulator, with our very own Hakuna batting lead-off (to mix a metaphor). Sunday evening, be sure to check in with Nikita at Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat for edition #336 of Carnival of the Cats.

Update 2: CotC #336 is up. Thanks, Nikita and Elvira!

’KUNA WAS HERE

Is it just my imagination, or is this photograph of Hakuna with her head peeking out from her Circular Bed reminiscent of a well-known World War II-era graffito?


Kilroy, by Patrick Tillery. From Wikipedia.

Update: Friday Ark #305 is afloat at the Modulator, with our own Hakuna in pole position yet again. And this Sunday, don’t forget to drop by Three Tabby Cats in Vienna for the 332nd edition of Carnival of the Cats.

INDIFFERENCE IN THE FACE OF COMPUTATION

Hakuna feigns indifference as SWMBO, elbow visible at right, toils away on her laptop computational device.

Hakuna, though she is mostly a cat who appreciates her solitude, will occasionally cozy up to her pet humans. No, she is not quite as cuddly as the late Matata, who would climb all over SWMBO and me... but she does have her moments.

Perhaps she is wondering when she’ll get a whack at the machine. “Hey, how do I get to the Friday Ark?”

Update: Getting to the Friday Ark is simplicity itself - just go to the Modulator, where the 304th voyage has already begun.

Sunday evening, When Cats Attack will host the 331st edition of Carnival of the Cats, the blogosphere’s longest-running Kitty Kollection. Be sure to stop by and tell ’em Elisson sent you.

Update 2: CotC #331 is up.

FROM THE ELISSON ARCHIVE

Hakuna and the late Matata get in some sisterly cuddling in this photo from sometime in the early 2000’s.

I’m not sure whether Hakuna misses Matata, gone now for over two years. But we sure do...

Update: Friday Ark #303 is afloat at the Modulator... with our girls in pole position! This Sunday, be sure to check in with Nikita at Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat for Carnival of the Cats #330.

Update 2: CotC #330 is up.

MEET BERNADETTE

Bernadette, people are searchin’ for
The kind of love that we possess.
Some go on searchin’ their whole life through
And never find the love I’ve found in you.

- The Four Tops, “Bernadette”

The Mistress of Sarcasm is happy to introduce the newest member of our collective household: Bernadette.


Bernadette (L) and a buddy.

Bernadette is four years old, a rescue kitty who was brought here from Alabama when her shelter there was shut down. Based on what we’ve seen so far, she is quiet, yet affectionate - willing to allow herself to be picked up and not afraid to get up close and personal with the Bifurcated Gods.


“Hey, toots - I think I like you!”


Getting to know you: Bern accepts the adoration of her new fan club.

May she have a long and happy life with the Mistress.

Update: Friday Ark #301 is up at the Modulator.

More cattery will be available Sunday evening when One Cats Nip hosts Carnival of the Cats #328. Stop by and tell ’em Elisson sent you.

Update 2: CotC #328 is up.