Dazed and confused? Not me. I’m just Lost in the Cheese Aisle.

Saturday, January 12, 2019


Dear Esteemed Readers,

Here's a post we dreaded writing. Last night at 5:55pm, just as the sabbath (the day of rest) was arriving, our fearless leader took his Great Rest. We surrounded him, holding his hands, expressing our love as he took his final breaths. "Expressing our love" just doesn't capture it. There are no words to articulate how much we loved/love our dad. Whether you've been a long time reader of his posts and never had the pleasure of meeting him in person, or whether you had the privilege of being both a reader and a friend, you can imagine why we consider being born into the world with him as a dad as the most amazing gift, and why losing him is beyond painful. 

Our father spent so many hours of his adulthood working in (his words) "the great corporate salt-mine," but he had the spirit, mind, and gifts of an artist. When he discovered writing as an outlet, his passion took over. Things were never the same again. Suddenly - and finally! - a repository for all of his warped humor and twisted rants. Suddenly - and finally! - an audience for his schtick beyond his nuclear family. Over the years this creative outlet grew from a little hobby (rightly self-proclaimed as "exercises in time-wastage and self-aggrandizement") into a fertile space for him to mould his rich internal life and tremendous stores of knowledge into beautiful and humorous pieces. We believe he got to know himself more greatly through writing this blog. It, along with family, friends, and Jewish Life, gave him purpose. We also believe that he was/is a man worth knowing, and so we are glad he found a way to generously share himself.

Esteemed Readers, thank you for being as entertained by our Dad as we always have been. Thank you for caring for him and for adding to the meaning of his life. 

For any of you who are interested, the funeral will be held Monday in Marietta, GA. Details can be found in his obituary which we will post tomorrow. 

Our Hero bids farewell to the life he's known so well
And charges forward toward the Great Unknown. A most magnificent and wondrous place. 

Elder Daughter and The Mistress of Sarcasm


Libby Spencer said...

I'm profoundly sad he left us. Eternally grateful he was my friend. He made us feel like we were all part of your perfect family even when the connection was mostly virtual and sporadic. It makes me happy to know he got to enjoy a grandchild and was surrounded by your love until the last moment.

I share your sorrow. I send my deepest condolences. Wish I could be at the funeral. Can only attend in spirit and sit a solitary shiva of my own making here in the Lone Star State. I will miss him always.

May you and all who loved him find comfort in unexpected places when it's most needed.

Joseph said...

I've been staring at this screen for 15 minutes, rereading the post, looking off for a bit, then looking back, trying to think of what to say. It's not that I can't think of anything; it's that I think of too damn much and I hate those people that write books in the comments section.

So I'll say only this: I came over here from Acidman's place, and he died in 2006, so I've been here awhile. Your dad could write with a lot of depth using very few words, a rare talent. I will miss his self-aggrandizement and time wastage. ALS is a helluva way to go and one he didn't deserve, but he never let the diagnosis become bigger than he was. I hope that I can face my end with as much dignity as he did, whatever drags me to it.

My condolences and wishes for peace and comfort to you all.

Kevin Kim said...

The body leaves; the spirit remains.

Much love to you, his caretakers.

And much love to Steve. Goodbye, friend.


Meghan Keener said...

What an inspiring man and father. He was larger than life.. a giver, an optimist, crazy funny. His legacy lives on in his amazing family and friends. Sending love from Philly.

treppenwitz said...

We all knew this day would come, but it is still impossible to believe that such a clear, human voice has been silenced.

Thank you for sharing him with us. Undoubtedly you all sacrificed some of your privacy in allowing him to express himself so publicly. And another, less secure, family might have cringed at his wide-ranging and unpredictable sense of humor being on display for the world to see. But you loved him for who he was, and allowed others to fall in love with the real him... not some self-edited, g-rated version packaged for public consumption.

Just as he honored *his* father by keeping his memory alive in name and spirit, you have honored him with your love and support... not just in adversity, but in good times as well.

May you and your family be comforted among the mourners for Zion and Jerusalem.

Joe said...

Thank you for sharing your father with the blog world. My life is richer for "knowing" him.

He will be missed

mostly cajun said...

My very deepest condolences.

Before I started blogging, I was reading your father's efforts, enjoying wit and word and wisdom, making me want to emulate.

I never did, but I tried, and a time or two, he noticed and we exchanged emails.

I'll miss him, but nothing like the depth that you'll miss him.

Peace on you and may his memory continue forever.

ALS said...

What a gift not only to have known your Dad (and Mom,) and to worked with them on synagogue projects, but to have learned about his blogs and followed them over the past few years to get the full nature of his wit and creativity. We are EastHampton and Etz Chaim neighbors who will miss your Dad's intellect, humor and kindness very much. Wishing your entire family blessed memories of Steve. Amy LS, Marietta, GA

Ed Bonderenka said...

My condolences.

The Maximum Leader said...

You all have my deepest condolences. I am so sorry for your loss. Please know you are all in my prayers.

Gus am bris an latha agus an teich na sgailean.

Jean said...

There's no way to remember him other than fondly.

JT said...

My deepest condolences to you and your mother. I have been praying fervently for peace, understanding, and comfort for all of you over these past several months. Your father is missed by so many, and I hope that you find some solace in knowing how many people he touched with his writing.

Og said...

See you on the other sidw boss.

Unknown said...

For months,weeks and days my thoughts have turned to one of my hero's most precious jewels - Colander Man's wife and daughters. The dessert, a grandchild was the icing on the cake. Over time and many a long conversation I have yet to hear another speak with unabashed love for what was the blessings of his life- Colander Man's girls.....The loves of his life. Indeed fine cuisine, books, writing, an excellent cigar,
an occasional sip of scotch, shul and travel mattered.And yes ,he possessed an insatiable curiosity for most everything, yet his kindness and compassion for others ranked just behind Steve's love of family. God speed dearest and most beloved Colander Man.

Sue Stone

Maven said...

My condolences to Steve's family and friends (I like to consider myself one, albeit from the blog-o-sphere).

It was a joy to know him (and you, his friends and family) through the stories he shared with us all. What a legacy he's left for everyone in the wealth of stories contained in his blogs and his book. My only regret, of course, was that I was unable to have the opportunity to meet him, and perhaps have a Rob Roy and hear a story of his in person.

One final thought, one I hope will be poignant, is knowing that he took his leave just as shabbat commenced--what a good omen that is (though little consolation, right at this moment, for those he leaves behind).

BlueyM said...

Sincere condolences from afar.

I never met Steve IRL, but after many years of reading his blogs, I considered him a friend and confidant.

He will be sadly missed by his legion of lurkers.