Dazed and confused? Not me. I’m just Lost in the Cheese Aisle.

Monday, July 25, 2011


“Dude, planking is so June 2011. Owling is where it’s at.” - Zonker

Fountain Plank
Elisson planks the fountain at the Gaylord Palms Resort and Convention Center.

Anytime you think you may have captured a whiff of the Narrischkeit-Zeitgeist of the moment - that spirit of foolishness that seems to animate and infect us all at any given time - it proves to be as elusive as the will-o’-the-wisp. We make a grab for the Snark; it inevitably turns out to be just another Boojum.

I wear a colander on my head and post silly pictures of myself on the Internet. An Austrian dude takes it one step farther down Silliness Road and makes international headlines by having his driver’s license photograph taken with the selfsame apparatus atop his noggin... and the Narrischkeit-Zeitgeist moves on.

When I first put up a photo on Facebook illustrating my nascent Mad Planking Skillz, one of my ffriends commented thusly: “Now can you demonstrate ‘owling’ for us eager disciples?” Then, when I put the same picture up here, Zonker chimed in with the quote at the top of this post. That told me right away that planking had ceded its position as Dopey Activity of the Day to something equally (or more) ridiculous.

Conventional Plank
Yes, it’s ridiculous... but not ridiculous enough for some people.

I am nothing if not accommodating, and so here I am, owling. I do confess, it has a certain loony charm:


But owling is likely already passé, outmoded and driven into obsolescence between the time I first heard of it and the date of this post. It’s so mid-July 2011! Feh!

It’s time for something that is even nuttier, while at the same time meeting all of the fundamental criteria of planking:
  1. You have to be a little bit crazy to do it;
  2. It poses somewhat of a physical challenge, especially if attempted in difficult places;
  3. If you do it in a really ill-chosen place - like on a hotel balcony - you can kill yourself;
  4. It is amenable to viral, meme-like transmission via social media.
Enter Storking!

Storking - the next great Facebook phenomenon! (Remember, you saw it here first.)

Next step, of course, will be to attempt the above stunts whilst wearing a pasta strainer. It’s the Elisson way!


El Capitan said...

Elisson, you are such a Renaissance Man you make Newton, Descartes & Copernicus look like Larry, Moe & Curly!!

Erica said...

Not only do I concur with what El Cap says, but I like that you do your Storking in a suit. It lends the practice an air of sophistication.

og said...

Storking? isn't that a town in Surrey?

My moments of narrishkeit most often involve explosives and meat. To each his own.

Teresa said...

Okay, I can plank and I can Stork, but I can not Owl. It will never happen and I feel bereft. OTOH I will be giggling the rest of the night about this post.

Anonymous said...

.... funny, really.... Owling looks a lot like "taking a shit in the woods"...... except with more tippy-toes....


Elisson said...

@Eric - You're right about that owling posture... and if you're really good at owling, when you finally do take that shit, it should contain a few half-digested mice.

Anonymous said...

Storking? Dude, I've seen enough Karate Kid movies to recognize a Crane when I see one.

"Sweep the leg!"
- z

Bou said...

Zonker beat me to it!

Anonymous said...

Heck, being a Floridian, I thought it was Flamingoing.

Claude said...

If only I could wear a tie.....

Elisson said...

@Claude - Who's stopping you? You can wear whatever you like - even a colander, should the mood strike you! ;-)

Claude said...

A colander looks like fun to wear. I guess I could buy a tie with the knot already done...If I do, I'll take a photo for Facebook!;-)