Everybody watching reality TV. Everybody watching “The Biggest Loser” and “Celebrity Apprentice.” “Top Chef,” “Iron Chef,” “MasterChef.” Follow your favorite cook on Facebook! Everybody checking out The Situation and Snooki, hoping for a glimpse of nooki.
The economy’s in the shitter... but we have Twitter! We have social media. We have Expedia!
We’ve got Bics, Netflix, and drugs to stiffen our dicks.
We’ve got the
What a time to be alive! We’ve got Hand Jive!
We’ve got surgeons that’ll suck the fat from your hips and inject it into your lips. We’ve got the Zombie Apocalypse!
We’ve got bebop, hip hop, chap hop, crap hop, and traffic cop.
We’ve got surfers, birthers, Earthers, and no-net-worthers.
Today, you can go from Wall Streeter to Wal-Mart greeter faster than you can put a quarter in the parking meter.
What a time to be alive!
(apologies, once again, to Russell Baker)