The things I learn on the Internets...
Thanks to my buddy Big Stupid Tommy, I learned of a bit of a set-to in Old Blighty, the kind of thing that ends up in the police blotter section of the local fishwrap. Which indeed this did.
Seems that a young woman came home to find her friend on the sofa with another friend, in “About To Do the Nasty” position. When she objected, her friends beat the crap out of her, maiming her face. Taking a spanner to the eye socket will do that.
It was the headline that sold me. Checkit:
Gravy-wrestling model suffers horrific facial injuries after being hit with monkey wrench when she interrupted a friend having sex
Read it all. Seriously.
Gotta give the Brits props for their Mad Headline Writing Skillz... as well as for their legal system’s handling of this horrific crime, a crime committed against a young, lovely, champion gravy wrestler.
Roll that phrase around on your tongue a few times. “Champion Gravy Wrestler.” Tasty, innit?