ELEMENTARY EDUCATION

We’re here in Texas with SWMBO’s clan, which means we get to spend some Quality Time with our nephew William and niece Madison.

Cute as hell, they are... and smart, too. Madison, at the ripe age of four, has already developed negotiating skills that would put the North Koreans to shame, and William - well, he continues to come out with preternaturally sharp bons mots at the slightest provocation.

F’rinstance...

A few weeks ago, William’s dad had to deliver a painting to a young woman who worked at a local Hooters. (The painting was by William’s mom, in case you’re curious.) The logistics of the day - determined mainly by various work schedules - dictated that William would have to be picked up after school and accompany his dad as he made the delivery. Which meant that William, all of eight years old, would get to experience the awe and mystery of Hooters, if only in passing.

It’s not a big deal, really: a purveyor of chicken wings, with waitstaff consisting of well-endowed young women in short pants and tight-fitting shirts. Nothing a young prepubescent lad couldn’t handle, especially with a little judicious advance explanation from Daddy.

Came Delivery Day, and Dad shows up to pick William up at school, after which they will make the journey to the aforementioned chicken wing purveyor. And, as is customary, Dad asks William his traditional after-school question: “So, what did you learn today?”

William replies: “Not as much as I think I’m going to be learning in a few minutes...”