IN THE LAND OF CLEVES

There’s a red moon rising
On the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to the lake

There’s a red moon rising
On the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to the lake

There’s an oil barge winding
Down the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to the lake

There’s an oil barge winding
Down the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to the lake

Cleveland, city of light, city of magic
Cleveland, city of light, you’re calling me
Cleveland, even now I can remember
’Cause the Cuyahoga River
Goes smokin’ through my dreams

Burn on, big river, burn on
Burn on, big river, burn on
Now the Lord can make you tumble
And the Lord can make you turn
And the Lord can make you overflow
But the Lord can’t make you burn

Burn on, big river, burn on
Burn on, big river, burn on

- Randy Newman, “Burn On”

This sarcasm-infused paean to Cleveland, from Randy Newman’s brilliant Sail Away album, was based on a Real-Life Incident: the infamous Cuyahoga River Fire that took place almost exactly 41 years ago.

Cleveland, formerly the capital of the decaying Rust Belt, is a very different place today. People still refer to “the Mistake on the Lake,” but it’s more in the manner of an affectionate sobriquet rather than the bitter epithet it was forty years ago. It’s now ranked among the most livable cities in the nation, thanks in part to investment in infrastructural improvements and in the arts community. There are plenty of fine restaurants, a handful of sports franchises, and cultural outlets galore. And the Flats!

The fact that it’s the home of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame - and chef Michael Symon - doesn’t hurt a bit.

We’re here, along with our friends Gee and JoAnn, after a drive of “only” 12 hours 30 minutes, iron-woman driver SWMBO at the wheel every mile of the way. Our mission: to attend the lakeside wedding of JoAnn’s nephew Adam.

It’s a good bet that the lake - not to mention the Cuyahoga River - will not constitute a fire hazard. But, after a few very dry Martinis, I just might.