Dazed and confused? Not me. I’m just Lost in the Cheese Aisle.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017


I have a friend - a member of our Morning Minyan crowd - who grew up in the sunny little burg of Vidalia, Georgia.

Vidalia, as any food aficionado will tell you, is the home of the eponymous Vidalia onion, the sweetest, mildest allium cepa that you will ever put teeth to. And Richard, well, he knows his onions.

When Richard sits down to breakfast, he will occasionally get a wistful look in his eyes... especially if someone else at the table has ordered a LEO (lox, eggs, and onions, cooked up omelette style). With the slightest prodding, he’ll embark on a reverie, a recounting of the onion-based dishes with which he grew up. It almost puts one in mind of Bubba, Forrest Gump’s shrimp-obsessed Army buddy.

“Anyway, like I was sayin’, onions are the fruit of the earth. You can barbecue ’em, boil ’em, broil ’em, bake ’em, sauté ’em, grill ’em. You can slice ’em and dice ’em. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s your straight-up onions - yellow, red, white, Spanish, pearl. There’s your scallions, your green onions. You got your leeks, shallots, and garlic. There’s onion pie, onion and cabbage pie, onion tarts, onion soup; crispy onions, onion rings, caramelized onions...”

It’s enough to make your eyes glaze over. But one thing they won’t do is water. Vidalias are too mild to make you cry.

You’d think that Richard, coming from a small town as he does, would be a simple man. One-dimensional. But he is actually quite complicated. Got a lot of layers, he does...


Kevin Kim said...

So you're saying that... along with being Bubba, Richard is Shrek?

Elisson said...

Actually, Kevin, there's another guy in our Minyan Gang who is a dead ringer for Shrek. Stranger than fiction!

El Capitan said...

The Vidalia onion, sweet and mild,
Has a lineage that vexes
The rootstock for that Jawja plant
was shipped from southern Texas!

Seriously, the "mother" of all the sweet onion varieties were originally shipped from Bermuda to the Texas Valley, and spread from there following years of crossbreeding.