Dazed and confused? Not me. I’m just Lost in the Cheese Aisle.

Monday, August 2, 2010

THE BALLAD OF THE BUNWAD

Our Bunwad Stores were getting low,
So to the Market I must go,
Thus to avoid the Wifely Griping
Occasioned by Paperless Ass-Wiping.

I got my Butt into the Car
And drove to Target – ’twas not far.
Unto the Bunwad Aisle emergent,
I now needs must choose my Abstergent.

Look – that one’s Package has a Bear
(How does he wipe, with all that Hair?)
And this one’s Roll is extra-large,
With Squares enough to wipe a Barge.

This Other, extra strong and tough –
Like Garnet Paper on the Duff.
Here’s yet a Third, so extra cushy
It’s like a Pillow on the Tushy.

O, all these Choices drive me nuts –
Why all these Papers for our Butts?
To clean one’s Ass – a simple Job –
One only needs a dry Corn Cob.

No more, no more the Charmin Bear
With Orville Redenbacher there!

3 comments:

Nor Grebnief said...

Gee, thanks! Now every time I toss a handful of popcorn into my mouth I'll be thinking of your ass!

El Capitan said...

Outdoor crapping
is fun & lively!
Just don't wipe
with poison ivy...

Elisson said...

...'cause if you do,
it's Heinie Hively!