Dazed and confused? Not me. I’m just Lost in the Cheese Aisle.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015


Urban legends circulated for years concerning pet alligators that, having been flushed down the toilet by their erstwhile owners, grew to fearsome size in the dank New York sewers.

The truth was far worse.

When, in 1984, a malicious lad eighty-sixed his kid brother’s pet iguana, the reptile survived its journey through the sewer pipes and soon learned to hunt the rats with whom it shared its vile habitation.

It grew crafty and voracious, eventually developing a taste for human scrota which it would nip off after swimming upwards through toilet drains.

To this day, people fear the Commode-O Dragon.

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