Dazed and confused? Not me. I’m just Lost in the Cheese Aisle.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

AT PLAY IN THE FIELDS OF THE LORD: A 100-WORD STORY

Ernie chuckled as he remembered that old joke, the one with the two buddies who wondered whether there was golf in Heaven. “Yes, there is,” went the punchline, “and your tee-time is tomorrow morning at nine.”

There was, indeed, golf in Heaven. Ernie played wearing his brand-new Forever Body, in a foursome with Jesus, Moses, and the Almighty Himself. He would drill 325-yard drives right down the middle and play flawless bunker shots. “Sure beats living,” he thought.

But one morning when his tee shot found a water hazard, he keeled over, half-paralyzed.

“That’s a one-stroke penalty,” said the Lord.

2 comments:

Erica said...

E, I don't know how better to say it: This post worries me. Please assure me I need not read too deeply into it.

Elisson said...

@Erica - You don't need to worry - it's just me, being my usual nutty self.

Two things inspired this post: One, my need to keep the Dark Forces at bay by cracking jokes about the things that bother me the most; and two, the perverse idea that even though you would get a brand-new body when you got to Heaven, the Big Guy, in his capricious trickster persona, would still find a way to keep you from getting too complacent.