SAVE THE PLANET...

...or I’ll shoot you.

Based on initial reports, it appears that James Lee, the man who waltzed into Discovery Communications headquarters in Silver Spring, Maryland and took “an unconfirmed number of people” hostage at gunpoint, is a Man on a Mission. Or more correctly, an Activist Asshole with an Agenda.

Armed with a revolver and with two dangerous-looking tanks strapped to his back, Lee is, in his own quiet way, calling Discovery to task for not doing enough to help the planet.

Makes perfect sense to me. I mean, how can all that environmentally conscious programming on Discovery possibly help the planet? Now, QVC or the Home Shopping Network... those guys are waaaay more green, am I right?

It looks like Lee’s biggest beef with Discovery is that they are not doing enough to stop human overpopulation. Quoth Lee: “All programs on Discovery Health-TLC must stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants... In those programs’ places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.”

So what he wants, I suppose, is a sort of Birth Control Channel, the better to allow the planet to be taken over by non-humans. This is what comes from reading too much Al Gore. Wonder if he’s a member of PETA?

At this point, I’ll give the guy props for one thing: He didn’t go into that building with guns blazing, blowing away Discovery employees willy-nilly. And with any luck, this incident will (Gawd willing) end without violence... a reasonable assumption if the guy is just looking for a Bully Media Pulpit for his bizarro-world views. But you just never know. Clearly, his priorities don’t lie with his fellow human beings, in front of whose faces he is happy to wave a pistol.

But me, I’d like a baseball bat and a few minutes of Alone Time with this jackass. Because he chose to conduct his antics at Elder Daughter’s workplace... and that just flat pisses me off. (She’s fine, in case you’re wondering - but semi-incommunicado, since when she was evacuated from the building, she left her cellphone in her office.)

Ain‘t life exciting?

Update: From MSNBC.com comes the following: “Police shot and killed a gunman who held three hostages for several hours Wednesday at the Discovery Communications building in Silver Spring, Maryland, authorities said. They said the hostages were safe.”

Not the happiest of endings, but the way I look at it is, nobody was hurt or killed except the asshole who started it all. I can live with that. My condolences to his family, assuming he has one.

“Nothing is more important than saving... the Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, Froggies, Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Sharks, Bears, and, of course, the Squirrels. The humans? The planet does not need humans.”

Well, not exactly. The planet apparently does not need you, Mr. Lee... and now we’ll just have to soldier on without you.