They carried his broken, bleeding body to the cave, weeping with every step.
They laid him down, bade their farewells, and sealed the cave entrance with a massive rock.
Three days later, he arose, clad in pure white raiment. He leaped to the mouth of the cave, rolled the rock away, and stepped into the blinding sunlight. Almost as quickly, he retreated into the depths of the cave, shaken and fearful.
That terrible dark shape on the ground! He shivered in horror. Could it have been the Devil himself?
No matter. After six more weeks, Punxsutawney Jesus would try again.
[Originally published April 24, 2006 at the old place... and resurrected just for you.]