It seems, these days, when one turns on the Tube,
Of decent Programs there is quite a Dearth.
Budweiser Clydesdales! Janet Jackson’s boob!
And ev’ry horny Bachelor on Earth.
“Unscripted” Shows grow ever more inane,
And those with Scripts, they also are but Shite.
I tell thee, ’tis enough to cook one’s Brain,
And listen to the Radio just for spite.
The Glass Teat on which we suck, ’tis dry and sere:
There’s nought but Ads for Autos and for Beer.
[Tip o’ th’ Elisson fedora to the ever-irascible, ever-talented Harlan Ellison (no relation), who titled his collections of his television criticism The Glass Teat and The Other Glass Teat.]