Dazed and confused? Not me. I’m just Lost in the Cheese Aisle.

Monday, February 28, 2011

CHARLIE

Cholly

He nails his marks
After nights of excess
He has an ego
The size of Texas
His career is becoming
The Great Train Wrecxas
Whoever can I mean?
It’s Charlie Sheen

The power of his mind
Can take him far
He’s a genuine bona-fide
Rock star from Mars
He drives extremely
Snazzy cars
Young Charlie Sheen

At two mil an ep
He’s underpaid
Got pornstar girlfriends
When he wants to get laid
He has it made
In the shade
That Charlie Sheen

He delivers his message
With violent love
Like an iron fist
In a velvet glove
Says, “Haim, take this job
And shove...”
He’s Charlie Sheen

You can’t process him
With a normal brain
All the fools and trolls
Crack under the strain
Come in, Charlie
It’s beginning to rain
Hey, Charlie Sheen

6 comments:

Morris said...

Oh, nicely done Ellison.

Love it..

Bou said...

OH! You reminded me of my favorite quote. I sent this to my folks when I found it by accident on the 'net. Evidently Chuck Lorre has vanity cards at the end of his show. Before it all fell apart, his last vanity card read:

“I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night. I’ve had chest x-rays, cardio stress tests, EKG’s and colonoscopies. I see a psychologist and have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. I don’t have crazy, reckless sex with strangers.

If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I’m gonna be really pissed."

I couldn't quit laughing.

Richond said...

Bravo!!! Very well done Elison :)

Harper said...

Your poetry is much more enjoyable than Lorre's vanity cards, Elisson. Though the one Bou mentioned had me laughing as well.

I am disappointed in Sheen's lifestyle, but Lorre has had a weekly opportunity to take shots at Sheen, via the cards. Charlie's responses don't seem quite so crazy if you have read some of Lorre's cards.

Anonymous said...

I think Sheen may be punking us...

-Morris William

LeeAnn said...

Genius. And I agree with Morris William. I think Charlie's playing.