Dazed and confused? Not me. I’m just Lost in the Cheese Aisle.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013


Yesterday evening, there was a report of a bear wandering around one of the subdivisions in northeast Cobb County.

Look, when the Mistress of Sarcasm reports having seen a bear in her back yard, I’m not all that surprised.  After all, she lives way up in the forested glens of upstate New York, where civilization is nought but a thin veneer.  Bears, turkeys, pheasants... hell, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Sas-fucking-squatch ambling down Main Street in her itty bitty town.

But here?  This here’s Southern Fried Suburbia.  Visiting bears are an unusual, although not completely unknown, phenomenon.  Yeef!

And it gets worse.  In nearby DeKalb County, there’s a pack of marauding feral pigs that have been terrorizing the locals, who now fear for the safety of their children while they wait at the bus stop in the morning.  (Funniest part of that link might be the URL, which includes the string “wild-board-loose-dekalb.”  Look out for the wild board!)

Jebus Creepus!  Is it time to move?  What’s next?  Penguins?

“We gotta get outta here!”

1 comment:

Houston Steve said...

Listen up, Elisson, it's one thing to be messing around with jokes about bears. After all they can be cuddly little things when they are babies. But there is simply no basis for making jokes about penguins. You are fully aware of the level of danger they pose, and I for one am outraged that you would think to make light of them.