DISCOVERY: A 100-WORD STORY

Physicists were agog when Rolf Heuer, the director of the European Center for Nuclear Research (CERN), announced the discovery of new evidence of the existence of the elusive Higgs boson, AKA the “God Particle.” The particle is considered to be a major key to understanding the mysteries of the universe’s origin.


Higgs boson: artist’s representation.

"We have now found the missing cornerstone of particle physics," Heuer told scientists.

Exciting as this news was, it was almost immediately overshadowed by an even more significant discovery: that of the Higgs Bozo, which may explain the ability of vast numbers of clowns to cram into a Volkswagen.


Higgs Bozo.