Obi-Wan Kenobi:
“The way your Daddy looked at it, that lightsaber was your birthright. And he’d be damned if any stormtroopers were gonna put their greasy white gloves on his boy’s birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide somethin’. His ass. Five long years, he wore this lightsaber up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the lightsaber. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the lightsaber to you.”
- Luke Skywalken, The Early Years
I thought this would have make the speaker of those lines Obi-Walken Kenobi! Heh.
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